Recently, thanks to social media we get to see more sad tales of domestic violence that is so disheartening. These sad stories are accompanied with videos, images that leave me speechless but then I ask myself “what can be the reason behind all these?”, “what are we doing wrong in this our generation?” The answer to this questions I hope to answer in this article.
Let’s first dissect what domestic violence is for those who don’t fully understand what it means.
According to National Coalition against Domestic Violence (NCADV) “Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other”.
There are actually different types of domestic violence as mentioned in the definition above but the prevalent one in our society is physical violence which has become a serious issue in the society. Due to this reason, I will shed more light on it in this article.
Different issues can be the root of domestic violence such as exposure to domestic violence from childhood, lack of anger management, excessive exposure to alcohol and drugs, economic recession, abusive tendencies.
Research has shown that children that are exposed to domestic violence by their parents grow up to understand that it is perfectly normal to beat their partner whenever he or she offends them. They see it as a form of correction because that is what they have been exposed to and there has been no form of correction from anyone. So they hold on to this and exhibit it at any slightest opportunity they get. However, there is no reason that should make a man beat his wife or a woman beat her husband.
For some, it is lack anger management skills. They shout, throw things around and even break things at any slightest provocation. Such person has the very high tendency of beating up his or her spouse when angry.
Alcohol and drugs can also be the root of domestic violence. Too much exposure to it can make a person lose control of his or her thinking ability A drunk person will be less likely to control his or her violent impulses toward their partner.
An Economic recession can leave a man depressed. Lack of job, financial distress can contribute to higher stress levels at home, which can lead to increased violence.
Also, individual with abusive tendencies are more likely to abuse their partner.
The government has no punishable laws for men that beat up their wives. Due to this, they feel they can commit a crime and go away without being punished. Hence, the government should make laws that will seriously handle this issue.
Most importantly, these factors I mentioned above should never be a reason to beat up your spouse. If you can identify you have a problem dealing with your anger, you can’t stay away from alcohol and drug then go for proper treatment and don’t transfer your aggression on your spouse.
Also, for women that are abused daily, kindly leave the house for your well-being. Look for a trusted friend you can stay with, especially if you don’t have the financial capacity to rent an apartment. Remember, your life and sanity is still very much important to you and your children. You can also report the case, I believe Lagos state has laws available to solve the issue of domestic violence.
To single and engaged ladies, that feels they can manage or change a man that beat them up often, please have a rethink and run for your life after all you are not yet married to him. So run as fast your legs can take you.
To parents, once you notice a bad trait in your child that can be harmful in future, kindly correct your child immediately. We all can fight against domestic violence with the little contribution we have.
SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!